Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Letters in my Head

(At the risk of seeming trendy and writing letters for my blog post, it must be done. These things float around in my head and they must be removed before they cause someone (me) to do something unpleasant.)

To the Majority of Home Builders in Washington:

Why? I realize that you feel you live in a temperate zone over here on the west coast of the United States, but why? It has been over 80 degrees for days on end. And do you know what the typical homeowner likes to do when it gets that hot outside? I know what I'd like to do, turn on the AC. However, seeing as you didn't feel it was necessary to put it in any of the homes in the surrounding area, including mine, that is not possible. So when the sun hits the side of our apartment, we just get to sit here and watch the thermometer creep higher and higher. And let me tell you, I have it on good authority that certain moms get crankier and crankier as the temperature gets hotter and hotter. This is a danger to all society. So please, as you set out in the next few months to build new homes, please keep in mind that we will be in the market in a short while, and I would like one with AC. Thanks.

Hot and Cranky

Dear County Pool Inspector,

I appreciate the fact that you have many, many pools to go around and inspect to make sure they are up to code, but seeing as this is one of the hottest summers on record, it sure would be nice if you could pick up the pace and get around to inspecting our pool so that when our apartment is 80+ degrees in the afternoon, we would have somewhere to cool off. Also, knowing that this immense task was ahead of you, it would have been nice if you had started it sometime before the beginning of summer.

Considering Buying A Gym Pass Just to Use the Pool

Dear FAA,

I realize that you are a government organization and by that virtue alone are programed to run like molasses on a cold winter day; however, it's getting ridiculous. We've done our hurry up and wait time in the military. We paid our dues. So now that it's a year after Anton applied for a job with you and we are still waiting, it would be nice to see some forward motion. We'd like to be employed before our children leave for college. I hope that's not too much to ask. Also, gainful employment will allow us to move out of the cursed hot closet that we live in.

Tired of Being the Breadwinner


Chapman Family said...

My blog is like a journal. and has sadly taken the place of my scrapbook... blah.

Love your letters. It's true and I hope you get a job ASAP!!

Julene said...

Ha, ha, ha, that was funny! I left the baseball game tonight because the back of my pant legs were drenched in sweat. I couldn't stand it any more. No one should sweat just sitting!! Kenna and I drove home as fast as we could.